13 Sep 2013

My Last Memory of Tanya

The last time I saw my lovely girl she took me to the Gatwick bus in Brighton, and as it pulled out of the bus station, she rode along behind the bus, waving one red-gloved hand, the other being on the handlebar. She was smiling and making faces and blowing kisses. My face was pressed against the back window of the bus, trying to get closer to her.

She was wearing a silver bike helmet and her beautiful long red hair streamed in the wind. She rode along until we got to the motorway where bicycles weren't allowed. I saw her turn off at the roundabout and go back towards Brighton. I watched until she disappeared into the traffic. I was never to see her alive again.

When she died, I was positive that never again could I experience joy: I would be content to simply find some release from anguish. So the last years have been spent in search for spiritual meaning. At the loss of this most beloved child, the notion that "at the heart of creation lies a good intent, a purpose from which we come, by which we live our fullest and to which we return, " the idea that there was a compassionate Creator of the Universe, vanished.

It is a beautiful and comforting belief. But why then is there so much suffering in the world? All the joy in my life seeped away, like air from a balloon. The energy which comes from love slipped away too, on silent feet into the dark night.

That love that I had for her, and the sense of purpose that I had, just to be her mother, evaporated. She was no longer there with Kim in her blue house, high on the hill above Brighton, looking over the English Channel.

When I go there, I stand at the window, looking over the garden to the grey sea. There is an apple tree under which I planted bluebells, and a bird feeder. It is a holy place. But she is not there.

Diana Morris
September 2013
smallislandgraphics (at) yahoo.com

12 Sep 2013

Centre for Corporate Accountability - death record

Tanya Bocking
Date of death
Local Authority
Immediate Employer
Tanya Bocking
10 December 2003

Adventure Unlimited
Tanya, an adventure instructor and operations director of Adventure Unlimited, was preparing to give a zip wire lesson to a disabled man with a cerebral palsy sufferer at Blackland Farm activity centre in East Grinstead.
The disabled man's carer raised the alarm when she arrived on the scene and found Tanya strangled by her helmet strap on the 45ft long slide. A second harness, which would usually have been attached to a zip wire, was on the ground beneath her.
Staff could not resuscitate Ms Bocking, and she was pronounced dead on arrival at the Princess Royal Hospital in Haywards Heath.
The inquest was held at East Sussex Coroner’s Court in February 2005 and returned a verdict of Misadventure. Pathologist Andrew Rainey said the cause of death was given as asphyxiation due to ligature strangulation.
Coroner Alan Craze said, 'Because of her experience I do not believe on the balance of probability she would have deliberately set off down the zip wire with the karabina in the position where it was found, suspended by the top (chest) harness alone. The dangers are obvious and it would be at the very best an uncomfortable ride. Whatever went wrong went wrong up on the (zip wire) platform... that is where she got in trouble. Whether she attempted to get out of the situation and by accident put her foot in the wrong place and then fell off I don't know but I am reasonably satisfied she did step off by accident.'
Speaking after the hearing, Tanya's brother Nat Bocking called for tighter safety measures at outdoor centres to prevent similar accidents. 'Measures such as handrails on the platform might have saved her life,' he said.
Media Coverage
Date of Article
The Argus
19 September 2005
The Argus
18 August 2005
The Argus
25 February 2005
BBC News
24 February 2005
BBC News
29 December 2003
BBC News
11 December 2003
The Argus
30 December 2003