Twenty - Twenty

The dreadful anniversary is coming around again. It is now 20 years since we lost Tanya. No need to tell again of the sinking of my consciousness at that time. When you get to middle age an unexpected tragic death becomes an almost certain passage. Death is very much part of life. 

Still, not a day goes past without my thinking about Tanya. Besides the grief is thinking what could have been. Her work, her being, had inspired many young people and she would doubtlessly would have inspired many more. We can only live up to her example. 

These photos come from a sad time. We had lost our father so we went on holiday to Kenmare, Ireland, to recover and stayed in the home of a very kind acquaintance. Tanya and I formed a pact, we'd look out for each other if anything else happened. Though a sad association, I've loved Ireland ever since. Its gentle landscape and caring people was healing. I was allowed to row myself all over Kenmare Bay. We grew up there.  

Tanya knew the darkness that can come into life but she embraced the light of living and shone with it. The impact of her life is still rippling ashore.

Nat Bocking

Tanya would be sixty today

 

If Tanya was as lucky as me with genes then I reckon no one could guess her age now.  She might be stouter and stiffer but her hair could still be its full autumn colour and her fair skin still as freckled as her youth.  

However she is only here in our memories. The photos have begun to fade as have details of events but some things remain as bright and vibrant as ever; the goodness of Tanya, her passion, her love, her energy and all that we had in our hearts of her still exists undimmed by our own decline.

I doubt Tanya had much truck with patriotism and the ceremonies of remembrance of sacrifice but she died in the service of others and so deserves to be remembered with honours.

Tanya wouldn't let recent events overshadow her birthday party and many would have been glad for the opportunity to come celebrate a real queen of hearts in a bright respite from the manufactured gloom.  Just like Tanya it would have been fun, fulfilling,  even perhaps just a bit transgressive, to celebrate by reason and not tradition. So today in Tanya’s name please raise a toast to our queer old dean. 

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old: 

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.

At the going down of the sun and in the morning

We will remember them.

But where our desires are and our hopes profound, 

Felt as a well-spring that is hidden from sight,

To the innermost heart of their own land they are known

As the stars are known to the Night.

Happy Birthday Tanya. 

Here's some more photos of you being bold and beautiful. 

Thirteeneth Tribute

This year I have been thinking a lot about Shakespeare, as it was the 400th anniversary of his death.

Yesterday was the thirteenth anniversary of the death of  our darling Tanya, that bright spirit who didn't stay nearly long enough amongst us.

So I am offering, in memorium, sonnet number 29.

We do not know to whom they were written, but this one could be to anyone that  was loved  deeply, as we loved her.

"When in disgrage with fortune and men's eyes,
I all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless cries,
And look upon myself, and curse my fate,
Wishing me like to one more rich in hope,
Featur'd like him, like him with friends possess'd,
Desiring this man's art, and that man's scope,
With what I most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
Haply I think on thee,-and then my state
(Like to the lark at break of day arising
From sullen earth) sings hymns at heaven's gate;
For thy sweet love remember'd such wealth brings,
That then I scorn to change my state with kings."
You came into my life as a wonderful gift, and a teacher, and not a day passes that I don't think of you.

Your mum Diana

Tanya Bocking Memorial Fund Closing Accounts

After operating the Tanya Bocking Memorial Fund for ten years, the administrators have decided it is now a fitting time to close the fund and will use the balance of the fund to support its host Adventure Unlimited. 

There were a variety of reasons for this; a principal one being that Tanya believed in keeping things simple and with the members of Adventure Unlimited who knew Tanya moving on elsewhere, the fund's administration was becoming complicated and while AU faced financial challenges it was fitting to make use the funds to support the organisation Tanya loved and had benefited. 

In these days when many billion-pound charities spend less than 50% of their income on charitable causes, the administrators are proud to have met the challenge Tanya would have set them to ensure that donors' money wasn't wasted. As and when recipients report what they have done with their grants their stories will be published here (but for many good reasons some may not want to publicise their receipt of a grant).

INCOMES
Anonymous	£4,117.00
Abseil	£5,708.00
Brent Alpha Fund	£250.00
Gemini Foundation	£5,000.00
regular donor	£1,040.00
regular donor	£1,288.00
regular donors	£107.00
collection 2007	£151.00
donor 2004	£30.00
donor 2005	£250.00
donor 2006	£120.00
donor 2006	£140.00
donor 2010 & 2011	£650.00
donor 2011	£500.00
donor 2013	£100.00
gift aid	£1,994.00
total income	£21,445.00
GRANTS MADE
grants 2015	£785.00
grants 2014	£2,424.00
grants 2013	£2,566.00
grants 2012	£3,125.00
grants 2011	£1,250.00
grants 2010	£300.00
grants 2009	£393.00
grants 2008	£3,224.00
grants 2007	£908.00
grants 2006	£1,504.00
pledged 2016	£525.00
EXPENSES
admin	£502.00
printing	£199.00
abseil site	£190.00
RESIDUAL
residue to AU	£3,550.00
total expenditure	£21,445.00

Noël Brown remembers

I used to teach guitar at Elliott School and remember Tanya as a bright individual who actually wanted to learn, unlike others who came to me so they could get out of a lesson they didn't want to do.

Like Tanya’s friend Louisa, another pupil, I recently searched Google to see how people I used to know got on in the intervening years. It came as a big shock to learn about Tanya’s passing.

I have good reason for remembering Tanya as, at the beginning of one lesson, we both discovered that we were fans of MAD magazine. I mentioned that I particularly liked the work of Don Martin who drew silly action cartoons for them. Without further prompting Tanya handed me an A4 sheet of Don Martin sound effect cartoons, printed as stamps and gave them to me. I was extremely grateful for this gesture as I hadn't known of their existence.

Having read of Tanya after leaving school I am impressed. In the short time I knew her I recognised her confidence and thought she would go on to better things after school. I expect I'm somewhere in a long line of people who were lucky enough to know her and her generous gesture regarding the cartoons will be with me always. I am still a musician, the cartoons are still funny and I still think of Tanya’s unprompted generosity.

Dr. Noël Brown
SW17 7HH

In the event that anyone wants to contact Noël about Tanya please get in touch with Tanya's brother Nat.

Lesley Thomson

Tanya figured significantly in the life of novelist Lesley Thomson or is it the other way around? They both grew up in the same road and I recall Tanya credited Lesley's mother May (a former headteacher) as a tutor and mentor during her 'O' levels. Lesley was a bit older - nothing now in relative terms - but in pre-teenage years someone four years older was practically grown-up and Lesley was looked up to as someone both fun and clever and wise.

Lesley's latest novel The Detective's Secret mentions Tanya in the author's acknowledgements and the settings in the story in Chiswick and Hammersmith are all places very familiar to both Lesley and Tanya.

Time for T

I can't think of a photo which better encapsulates Tanya in her element.

A Tribute to Tanya

The courage that my mother had, went with her and is with her still

Rock from New England quarried, now granite on a granite hill.

The golden brooch my mother wore she left behind for me to wear.

There is no thing I treasure more, yet it is something I could spare.

O if instead she'd left to me that thing she took into the grave,

That courage, like a rock, which she has no more need of, and I have. 

                                              

                                                                     Edna St. Vincent Millay

This poem is in memory of my beloved daughter, Tanya Bocking who died 11 years ago on December 10th.

It was written to a mother, but it could easily be to a daughter. Tanya had great courage . It defined

 her life, and was at the core of her being. Courage, love for her friends and family, and a deep sense

 of. justice. The world cannot easily spare such people.

That day, 11 years ago, was the nadir of my life  Having known her and loved her, we had to get used

 to life without her. She was  a great teacher, and a huge influence. I was privileged to have brought

 into the world such a woman.

So give a thought for her today, a person so  brave and fine that her example lasts after she has gone.

Diana Morris

Commercial

By circumstances unknown, perhaps somebody knew somebody, but in 1975 if I recall, Tanya was cast as a Russian princess in a cinema cigarette commercial. I vaguely remember it was only going to be shown in New Zealand and that was shot at the Directors' Institute in a lush panelled clubroom. Tanya's role consisted of being one of a royal family in a framed photo on a desk of the set filmed in close-up; a common exposition device. There was a film camera doing a complicated dolly-shot and a still photographer using a 10 x 8 plate camera to get the 'billboard' version.  I remember the 'prince' in the photo was very sweet and quite gay and the Grand Dame wasn't at all posh and sat patiently between takes doing her knitting.

A few more photos 69-77

1969

1975 Alberta, Canada with 'cousin' Alison

1977
Back row: Alison, Johnny, Tanya, Diana, Claudia
Front row: Nat, Audrey, Jago, Michelle

My Last Memory of Tanya

The last time I saw my lovely girl she took me to the Gatwick bus in Brighton, and as it pulled out of the bus station, she rode along behind the bus, waving one red-gloved hand, the other being on the handlebar. She was smiling and making faces and blowing kisses. My face was pressed against the back window of the bus, trying to get closer to her.

She was wearing a silver bike helmet and her beautiful long red hair streamed in the wind. She rode along until we got to the motorway where bicycles weren't allowed. I saw her turn off at the roundabout and go back towards Brighton. I watched until she disappeared into the traffic. I was never to see her alive again.

When she died, I was positive that never again could I experience joy: I would be content to simply find some release from anguish. So the last years have been spent in search for spiritual meaning. At the loss of this most beloved child, the notion that "at the heart of creation lies a good intent, a purpose from which we come, by which we live our fullest and to which we return, " the idea that there was a compassionate Creator of the Universe, vanished.

It is a beautiful and comforting belief. But why then is there so much suffering in the world? All the joy in my life seeped away, like air from a balloon. The energy which comes from love slipped away too, on silent feet into the dark night.

That love that I had for her, and the sense of purpose that I had, just to be her mother, evaporated. She was no longer there with Kim in her blue house, high on the hill above Brighton, looking over the English Channel.

When I go there, I stand at the window, looking over the garden to the grey sea. There is an apple tree under which I planted bluebells, and a bird feeder. It is a holy place. But she is not there.

Diana Morris

September 2013

smallislandgraphics (at) yahoo.com

Centre for Corporate Accountability - death record

Tanya Bocking

Name	Age	Date of death	Status	Local Authority	Industry	Immediate Employer
Tanya Bocking	41	10 December 2003	Worker		Leisure	Adventure Unlimited

Tanya, an adventure instructor and operations director of Adventure Unlimited, was preparing to give a zip wire lesson to a disabled man with a cerebral palsy sufferer at Blackland Farm activity centre in East Grinstead.

The disabled man's carer raised the alarm when she arrived on the scene and found Tanya strangled by her helmet strap on the 45ft long slide. A second harness, which would usually have been attached to a zip wire, was on the ground beneath her.

Staff could not resuscitate Ms Bocking, and she was pronounced dead on arrival at the Princess Royal Hospital in Haywards Heath.

The inquest was held at East Sussex Coroner’s Court in February 2005 and returned a verdict of Misadventure. Pathologist Andrew Rainey said the cause of death was given as asphyxiation due to ligature strangulation.

Coroner Alan Craze said, 'Because of her experience I do not believe on the balance of probability she would have deliberately set off down the zip wire with the karabina in the position where it was found, suspended by the top (chest) harness alone. The dangers are obvious and it would be at the very best an uncomfortable ride. Whatever went wrong went wrong up on the (zip wire) platform... that is where she got in trouble. Whether she attempted to get out of the situation and by accident put her foot in the wrong place and then fell off I don't know but I am reasonably satisfied she did step off by accident.'

Speaking after the hearing, Tanya's brother Nat Bocking called for tighter safety measures at outdoor centres to prevent similar accidents. 'Measures such as handrails on the platform might have saved her life,' he said.

Media Coverage
Title	Source	Date of Article
Cliff descent gives Tanya fund a big lift	The Argus	19 September 2005
Fund is a tribute to caring Tanya	The Argus	18 August 2005
Zip wire rider killed by her helmet	The Argus	25 February 2005
Helmet strap strangled instructor	BBC News	24 February 2005
Funeral for slide death woman	BBC News	29 December 2003
Family devastated by slide death	BBC News	11 December 2003
Tribute to popular outdoors instructor	The Argus	30 December 2003

Call for more zip wire regulation after accidental death

The circumstances of Tanya's death and the inquest afterwards were profoundly distressing for Tanya's friends and family, as they would be any sudden death. The long wait between the accident in December 2003 and the inquest in February 2005 was unbearable for all concerned as the wheels of the investigation slowly turned.

Immediately after the inquest I gave a statement to the media saying that Tanya would not want to deter anyone from participating in outdoor activities but the family had been surprised at the lack of regulation of zip wires and that perhaps in light of this accident and others there should be some guidelines on their design. 

The coroner said that "whatever went wrong went wrong up on the (zip wire) platform... that is where she got in trouble. Whether she (Tanya) attempted to get out of the situation and by accident put her foot in the wrong place and then fell off I don't know but I am reasonably satisfied she did step off by accident." I said in that case, measures such as handrails and toe rails on the platform might have saved her life.

Sadly no regulations or recommendations were put in place and today another family and a coroner is calling for better regulation of zip-wires after another long-awaited inquest into a zip-wire death in 2011.

The BBC reported:

More regulations are needed for zip wires says a coroner, after an 11-year-old boy's death in a fall at a theme park was ruled as accidental.

Bailey Sumner, from Blackpool, had been wrongly attached to rope at Greenwood Forest Park near Caernarfon on Easter Sunday in 2011, an inquest jury heard.

Wales Online also reported the tragedy:

Zipwire death of schoolboy Bailey Sumner was an accident inquest decides

Grandfather Philip Lonsdale said he was “absolutely amazed” there was no need for zipwire rides to be licensed or inspected.

The death of a schoolboy who fell to his death from a zip-wire ride was an accident, an inquest jury has decided.

Bailey Sumner was visiting the Greenwood Forest Park near Felinheli, near Bangor, on Easter Sunday two years ago when he fell from the newly installed Swampflyer ride and suffered serious head injuries.

His mother Dawn, who was waiting for the 11 year old at the bottom of the ride, rushed to his side within seconds of the fall. She was with him at Ysbyty Gwynedd, where he later died.

She was too upset to speak after the three-day hearing at Dolgellau today but Bailey’s grandfather Philip Lonsdale said he was “absolutely amazed” there was no need for zipwire rides to be licensed or inspected.

He said:  “I think it very important the Government step in to ensure there are regulations to cover zipwires. It’s been apparent throughout that advice and guidance have not been available.

“The Greenwood Park tried their best to get the advice they needed and they were let down.”

Mr Lonsdale urged the Greenwood Park owners to reopen the zipwire ride again.

“They should do so in light of what we’ve heard today and if they do I’ll be the first to ride it,” he said

North Wales coroner Nicola Jones, sitting at Dolgellau Magistrates Court, said she will be writing to the Health and Safety Executive (HSE) and other agencies demanding action be taken to prevent tragedies like Bailey’s death.

She said: “Stephen Bristow [owner of Greenwood Forest Park] continually sought guidance but none was available. The lack of guidance played a significant part in how Bailey came to die.”

After the hearing Mr Bristow said: “The safety of our visitors is our top priority and we welcome the coroner’s move to urge the HSE to consider whether specific guidance should be drafted and made publicly available to ensure a tragic accident like this does not happen again.

“The tragic death of Bailey has deeply affected and saddened everyone at Greenwood and our thoughts are with the family at this difficult time.”

But Gwynedd council last night confirmed its investigations into the incident are continuing. An official was present throughout the hearing.

A spokesman said:  “We are continuing to carry out investigations into possible regulatory breaches concerning the tragic incident at Greenwood Forest Park. Our officers have been carefully considering all the possible options before deciding what action is necessary.

“Now that the inquest has come to an end, we will be moving forward to pursue these actions.”

The jury heard Bailey, from Blackpool, may have fallen because he was attached to the zipwire by a false loop in a lanyard.

It has also been suggested Bailey had tampered with a carabiner clip on a lanyard which attached his harness to the zipwire.

But Mr Bristow, recalled to answer questions about this point yesterday, said the clips used at Greenwood Forest Park were “very difficult to open”

The coroner ordered the jury to disregard this evidence during their deliberations.

The jury also heard evidence from health and safety experts yesterday.

David Riley, of the Health and Safety Laboratory, who carry out tests on behalf of the HSE, said he had considered the system used at the park.

Asked by the coroner if “human error was a latent failure” in the system he replied “that is my opinion”.

The jury heard the specialist company which installed the ride also trained senior park staff.

Asked about the training manual, expert witness Paul McCann said: “Its details are sketchy and not tailored to the needs of  the park. I would expect something more specific.”

Barrister Kevin Elliott, for Greenwood Forest Park, asked if the HSE had issued any guidance about the perils of zipwire operation.

Mr McCann said: “I’m not sure but I believe there should be.”

Another expert, Louise Robinson, said she was not aware of any other incident involving false loops leading to injury in her 10 years’ experience as a health and safety inspector
.

Brighton Pride 1994

About 34 seconds into this film, there is Tanya in some outrageous striped trousers carrying a flag in Brighton's 1994 LGBT Pride Parade. If I recall, Tanya joined (started?) an organised flag waving team and took part in many parades in her lifetime.

Some interesting discourse on history of Brighton Pride by Reflections in the Greenhouse

"...We had also begun to take our history seriously; the campaign against Section 28 spawned the wonderful Brighton Ourstory project. One of the highlights of Pride in 1991 was a walking tour of queer history in the city, led by Ourstory founder Tom Sargant. We knew that there had been a Pride parade in Brighton in 1973, but that the momentum had been lost and there had been no local Pride events since."

Louisa's Memories

I was at Elliot School in Putney with Tanya, we were in the same class and good friends. 

I've thought about her so often over the years, wondered what she was up to and sure that it would be something great and good. 

I'm not a Facebooker or anything and today I thought I'd just tap her name into Google to see if I could find her and came across the tragic news. I'm so, so sorry and my heart goes out to all of you. 

I just wanted to tell you that she was the one person that made school bearable (just!) for me. She was a good friend and a mother-hen rolled into one and oh, she was so cool! 

Looked great, was funny, interesting and bloody clever and SO capable. I remember wanting just a bit of her capability, wanted just to be a little bit like her so that I could deal with the world better. We thought everyone else were twits at school, bar a few. 

She shaved off an eyebrow once (I'm pretty sure it was just one), showed it to me in the middle of a class, I thought it was fantastic, hardcore punk! I had wondered why she had been smoothing down her fringe more than usual. I remember asking her why she had done it and she said it was because she was bored! 

photo of "Louweeza" taken by Tanya
(a dodgy phone scan)

I recognised her writing from your A-Z of Fatherhood photo, I've still got loads of scrappy little notes that we'd pass around in class.

I don't know why I've still got these things, they're just in a big box of old stuff. Glad I have got them though. I remember your place in St Peter's Square, was Stiff Records near to you (it was Island Records) I seem to think it was? 

After one particular summer holiday, we were back at school with a lot to talk about, you'd all been away on the set of Escape to Athena, (my step father was/is an actor, so I remember the film) and I'd had an adventurous summer too. LOTS of notes flying around the class. 

The photo you have up as your favourite one is exactly how I remember Tanya - beautiful. I remember her laugh very well, and funnily, I remember her hands, she had lovely hands. 

I knew Tanya would go on to great and good and it seems she did.

What a gal! I'm proud to have known her even just for that short, young time.

Louisa (was Marinker)